A hugely entertaining read.

To answer your questions:

1. I like the Uruk-hai that Aragorn fights at the end of the first film. The way he taunts him, pulling the blade in deeper after he's been stabbed, is particularly amusing.

2. "What's taters, precious?" (Because I'm hungry and need to get something to eat.)

3. Trying to resist nicking the palantiar from Gandalf to take a look.