Firstly, as a fellow writer who doesn't say this unless he means it, rest assured, this article is very well-written, and articulates your predicament with wit and poignancy. It is also ineffably Combsean (now there's a word I want in popular usage, rather than "cremains") and deeply relatable. Your daughter is quite right. Funerals are for the living, not the dead. Nothing but respect for your mother (she brought you into this world, after all), but yes, I can understand why such an edict from her is tough. As others have suggested, there may be other ways to celebrate her life, but in the meantime, I'm very sorry. The loss of a parent is brutal, and I wish you all the comfort in the world.