Great thoughts here, Amy.
I'm Jewish (by descent, via my maternal grandmother, who escaped the Nazis during World War II by coming to England). I've lost count of how many times I've visited Israel, and I have many friends there. I am unashamedly pro-Israel, and what happened on the 7th of October was not "self defence". It was nothing short of barbarism.
All that said, I'm anti-Netanyahu and his right wing government (as are many Israelis, especially considering before this situation in Gaza his domestic policies in recent years have been ghastly - the recent attempt to get rid of the Supreme Court, for instance). Needless to say, the situation in Gaza is an absolute mess and I deplore all loss of innocent lives. A two-state solution must happen, but that cannot happen whilst Hamas and other Iran-backed genocidal loonies are in charge. Nor can it happen with Netanyahu in charge. Both need to go.
As for these students, the mental gymnastics involved in being pro-Hamas staggers me. I saw one amusing meme suggesting that these pro-Hamas students be exchanged for Hamas hostages - good for Israel, good for the US, good for Hamas, and educational for the students. I laughed, but then dark humour is often the only way to react to such staggering ignorance.