Hahahahahaha! Actually - confession time - it is something I wrote covertly when I was bored during a deeply, deeply dull series of management meetings in my former job, about fifteen years ago. I found it again recently, discovered it wasn't as terrible as I remembered, gave it a bit of a polish, and thought I'd send it your way. I seem to remember it came on the back of some (very bored) musings about if anyone knew any traffic wardens in real life.