I can't get involved. It's not that I like the Empire. I hate it. But there's nothing I can do about it right now. It's all such a long way from here.

(One set of immolated relatives later)

I want to come with you to Fan Fare. There's nothing for me here now. I want to learn the ways of Medium and become a film journalist like my father.

(My father wasn't a film journalist. He was an English teacher, but that didn't quite work, so I tweaked the facts. At any rate, yes please do add me as a writer. In the meantime, I'll have a think about some articles to chuck your way. And thank you.)