I could (but won't) tell you stories about a convent school, and the girls I got to know from there as a teenager (I was doing my A Levels at the time). I could (but won't) tell you another set of stories about a different Catholic school that a male friend of mine attended. Why won't I tell you? The stories remain redacted until the year 2150.

But I will tell you this one story: At university, during my third year, I was a warden in the halls of residence (which meant various perks in return for staying in one night in eight to look after stuff on site). On my very first night as warden, I had to call out all three emergency services. Why? Because of a group of former convent school girls who redefined the word "wild" on my watch. Talk about a baptism of fire. I expected madness during Fresher's Week, but this was on a whole new level. Drug and alcohol overdoses, starting/causing fights, and attempted arson. Quite a night.