I spent the whole time reading this article trying not to think about an orange penguin. It didn't work. It's impossible. You try not thinking about an orange penguin. See? You can't do it. So I get the importance of this article to demonstrate not being obsessed with Smillew Rahcuef. I really do.

Also, you've demonstrated that by living in New Zealand, Reuben Salsa is personally responsible for many frozen penises in Dorset. I'm not sure how the man can sleep at night bearing such heavy guilt.