I'm so glad you're with me on golf. I despise it with a burning passion for so many reasons. The best thing I can say about golf is that it features in a memorable scene in Goldfinger. Otherwise, I'm with Mark Twain all the way: "A good walk ruined."

Also, golf for me is associated with Trump, hedge fund managers, and similar scum of humanity types. Golf culture has a sinister, pseudo-masonic side to it. On top of that in the late 1980s, when BBC2 offered a rare chance to see The Bridge on the River Kwai in widescreen (in those days widescreen presentations on TV were all but unknown, and VHS copies were always pan and scan), after duly setting the video to record (it was on very late) I ended up missing the last hour because the bloody golf overran (which was on beforehand). I won't repeat the tirade of swearing that ensued from me as a result of that incident, suffice to say the way the BBC used to arrogantly assume there was no other audience but the sports audience used to drive me insane. And yes - I know these days everything can be seen in the correct aspect ratio on DVD, Blu Ray, or God forbid streaming, but in those days, if you hadn't seen it in the cinema (and I wasn't born when The Bridge on the River Kwai came out) you were screwed. And yes, I know I now have a lovely DVD copy in the correct aspect ratio, but dammit I'm still bitter.

So yes, I hate, hate, hate golf, everything it represents, and everything associated with it.

Rant over.