It all seems like a ridiculous storm in a professionally offended teacup to me (re: the bald thing). As for the c-word, whilst it certainly isn't appropriate to use it at work in the context you describe, you might be surprised to learn it carries considerably less offence in certain parts of the UK (especially Scotland or other places in the north where it can be used as a term of endearment as well as aggressively). Also, in France, the word "bitch" is considered far more offensive. Equivalent to how offended America gets about the c-word, I'd say.