Justin, this is a great piece. Several thoughts on all this.

1. Firstly, as a Christian, I resonate with much of this. Your ideas about intergenerational church are excellent, and I have often struggled with the way church is structured around adults. Then again, "church" is light years from what it was in the Book of Acts. Your point about the front leaders feel they have to maintain is a case in point, but "pastors" in the Book of Acts were simply kind, often older, extrovert "people people" who opened their homes so believers could meet together, pray for one another, and sometimes listen to a visiting apostle. There was no pressure on them to gather tithes, preach every Sunday, maintain buildings, arrange distractions for children, deal with the interminable politics of modern church boards, etc, etc.

Also, much of the church in America seems needlessly engaged in frankly idolatrous culture wars, but that's a separate conversation I won't get into here, other than to note it. Suffice it to say, I agree loving your neighbour has no qualifier to it. It is up to the Holy Spirit to convict sin, not us to make sanctimonious and often hypocritical demands of people who don't even claim to be believers. I don't see how any of that qualifies as being a good ambassador of Jesus and the Kingdom of Heaven.

2. I myself was made redundant from a job I'd held for 23 years in 2020, and that was a brutally difficult reset that I'm still coming to terms with (although I am now very happy it happened, for lots of reasons I won't bore you with). So again, I also resonate with what you say on that score.

3. I'm very sorry to hear about your marriage. That sounds brutally difficult, and I'm praying for comfort for you.

4. Regarding Star Wars, I've often wondered thought that if I could use the Force, I'd be neither Jedi nor Sith, as I wouldn't be interested in joining some kind monastic chastity cult, but nor would I want to enslave the universe. I'd hoped a "Jedi Reformation" would take place in The Rise of Skywalker after the events in The Last Jedi seemed to be pointing in that direction, but it didn't happen, alas. It sounds like this is now being explored in the audiobooks you describe, so that's interesting.

Given what you've said, I'm not surprised the "Jedi Wayseeker" is resonating with you. Personally, I've been through a lot of rough patches in my life, and I've always been a square peg in a round hole in traditional church settings. But my personal relationship with God is what keeps me going, and that seems stronger than ever. I wish you all the very best in pursuing your own faith, amid your present predicament. :)