Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas is musical waterboarding designed to torture shop workers in December. It is an abhorrence that ought to be prohibited by the Geneva Convention as a weapon of mass destruction (of our collective sanity). Whenever I hear it, I get the urge to check the Book of Revelation to see whether it is a sign of the apocalypse.

In comparison, the others on your list that you don't like aren't so bad, though they still annoy me (give or take Wham, which I actually don't mind due to various nostalgic memories attached to it, and the fact that I think you're rather unfair on Wham as a group - I loved a lot of their records).

Also, I realise personal taste is the key factor here, but I've always loathed Fairytale of New York by the Pogues. Irish folk music isn't something I care for in any case, so I'm clearly the wrong audience. I always derive great satisfaction from the fact that it was kept off the number one slot by Pet Shop Boys magnificent cover of Always on my Mind. Now there's a Christmas record I can get behind.