Rest assured, I didn't think you were. I was just responding to those who might be insane enough to think that. Also, I'm sorry you didn't experience Roald Dahl as a child. That pretty much constitutes child abuse in my opinion. Here are some books/collections you ought to prioritise immediately:

1. The BFG

2. The Witches

3. The Twits

4. Fantastic Mr Fox

5. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

6. James and the Giant Peach

7. Matilda

8. Revolting Rhymes

9. Dirty Beasts

His use of language is simply sublime.