Some are worse than others (New Moon is particularly eye-rolling), but overall these films are a lamentable waste of celluloid. The best state of mind to be hoped for when watching these is moderately fed-up.

I recall a trailer for one of these appearing before a film I'd take my eldest son to see (he was then about six or seven). He asked me: "Daddy, what's that?" I replied: "I'll tell you what it's not. It's not a vampire film."