This is absolutely hilarious. In my dark past, when I worked as a middle manager, I consistently refused to subject my staff to performance reviews, much to HR's irritation. Why? Because if there was a problem with anything they did, we discussed it then and there and fixed the problem. Yes, I suppose I could have noted all these issues, not told the employee in question, and stored them up for an annual performance review character assassination, but that struck me as childish and counter-productive.

Still, one year one of the bosses put their foot down and insisted on companywide performance reviews. So those I was responsible for in my department worked with me to generate something suitable for each of them - something glowing, but with a little bit of bullshit "improvement" so it didn't make the big bosses vomit due the reviews being too nauseatingly good to be true. Suggested "improvements" were things like, employee works too hard, is a perfectionist, is too honest, works too many extra hours without claiming overtime, and so on.