What can I say? I'm here, and I'm lurking. Lurking is a very difficult skill to master, by the way. It's more subtle than looming and obviously not the same as all out stalking. As Cliff Richard once sang, we don't stalk anymore (sorry, dreadful Dad joke).

Actually, just to cheer you up a bit, here's a funny stalking story. Shortly after I got married, my wife dragged me out shopping with her, and like most stereotypical blokes, I got bored. To liven things up a bit, when she entered a particular department store, I told her I would attempt a stalking game. The objective was I had to stalk her without her noticing. So I followed her at a distance, ducking and diving behind various racks of clothing. Unfortunately, I was picked up on CCTV, stopped by security, and booted out of the shop, with my wife none the wiser. Afterwards, when I saw her outside, she laughed so much she told me she was in physical pain. Hahahaha!